I joke to my therapist that cutting out alcohol improved my mental health more than five-plus years of seeing her – and actually saved me money, unlike our sessions. My breakup with booze started as an experiment. Just like stopping birth control pills made my emotions swing like a pendulum, I was curious how my body would react without this drug. Would I sleep better? (Yes.) Wake up refreshed, ready to tackle the day? (No, I still need to medicate myself with caffeine.)
However, I discovered my baseline levels of anxiety lessened and, as a result, I became a better version of myself. But I struggled to picture what sober travel could look like. I associated backpacking with rowdy bar crawls and swapping stories over beers in hostels, and romanticized pina coladas on the beach and Spanish tapas paired with wine.
It’s now been over two years since I ditched drinking, and going alcohol-free has given me a priceless gift as I see the world: the ability to stay in the wild, wonderful present. Here are some tips, based on my personal experiences, if you’re considering a cocktail-less vacay.
1. Decide before you depart
Whether you’re practicing sobriety for now or for forever, decide in advance if you want to drink or not on an upcoming trip. I’ve found it easier to make that commitment to myself before I’m on the ground and subject to peer pressure.
2. Lead the way
Your decision may raise a few eyebrows, because in many places – certainly where I live, New York City – socializing goes hand-in-hand with drinking. I’ve heard people insist they can’t have fun without alcohol, and I believed them for years until I tried something different. Isn’t travel about getting outside of our comfort zones, anyway?
My first vacation sans booze was a bachelorette party where I didn’t know anyone except the bride-to-be. I was only one month into my sober-curious journey, and our weekend trip to San Diego, California, opened my eyes to what could happen if I threw my assumptions out the window. I “should” drink on a bachelorette trip, right? So what happens if I don’t? Turns out, I have way more fun without it.
3. Tell your people
You’re not in this alone, even if you’re traveling solo. Text the group chat, FaceTime a friend back home, whatever you’re comfortable with – just telling someone you trust about your sobriety goal(s) holds you accountable. Plus, it helps to have a support system cheering you on!
If you’re traveling with a group, especially folks you normally drink with, I recommend setting expectations and letting them know ahead of time you’re opting out. For that bachelorette, I gave the bride a heads-up beforehand. Remember: you’re telling, not asking – if someone doesn’t respect your choice, that says more about them than you.
4. Know what you’re getting into.
Alcohol is a main character in some destinations and experiences, so do your research and build an itinerary that feels good to you. Not to say you can’t party sober (more on that later!) but if you don’t like seeing people wasted, maybe avoid Ibiza over spring break. If you’re traveling to a region famous for its vineyards, mentally prepare to hear a lot about wine.
Sit out anything that makes you second-guess yourself. For example, I recently did a day trip from Porto, Portugal to Douro Valley – the birthplace of port wine. I skipped the tasting part but saw the Douro River’s deep valleys lined with grapevines by boat. All the views, none of the brain fog!
5. Seek out sober communities
Sober travel is on the rise and nonalcoholic (NA) bars are appearing in more cities, making it easier to find like-minded folks wherever you go. When I visited Lisbon earlier this summer, I joined alcohol-free Listen Bar to see how local mixologists and restaurants – Ulysses Lisbon, Toca da Raposa, Encanto and The Monarch, to name a few – are crafting NA options. Our group of nondrinkers and drinkers alike enjoyed a tasting menu paired with these zero-proof cocktails. Experts avoided calling them “mocktails,” which I found interesting, because their flavors are no less complex than their alcoholic counterparts. I’ve never sampled such a unique variety of beverages – sweet, savory, smokey – in one sitting!
If this experience sounds up your alley, check if sober-curious spaces exist wherever you’re traveling. Listen Bar also hosts events in NYC, Absence of Proof holds “night off of drinking” mixers across the U.S. and Austin’s home to Sans Bar (North America’s first NA bar). Alcoholics Anonymous didn’t resonate with me, but it’s worth mentioning they’ve got meetings around the globe. Tap into virtual communities, too – when I first quit, I used Reframe, an app that uses neuroscience to change your drinking habits. Find what works for you, and stick with it.
6. Research menus in advance…
There are tons of boozeless alternatives on the market today – dealcoholized wine, CBD-infused sparkling water, adaptogenic seltzers – but that doesn’t mean they make it to menus. When I look up restaurant reviews before making a reservation, I’ll see if they’ve got anything fancy for me to toast with. When I see an impressive zero-proof list in the wild, I’ll snap a photo to document what I wish was the norm instead of the outlier. Occasionally I’m pleasantly surprised, like when I stumbled upon an alc-free bar at Dublin Airport (of all places!) exclusively serving NA beer and spirits from Guinness, Carlsberg and Gordon’s.
…and ask for options if they don’t have any.
I’ve found that if you tell travel guides or bartenders you don’t drink, they’re more likely to go out of their way to get or make something for you just like they’d accommodate any other dietary restrictions. For example, last year I visited Etta Place Cidery in Torrey, Utah on a press trip. Instead of hard cider, I sampled Taproot, a local craft soda that had actual glitter in it. Fancy!
If you don’t ask, you won’t know what could be on the table – and if you ask and they say “sorry, we don’t have anything,” it’s time for tip #7.
7. Pick a widely available party drink
When it comes to nightlife, it’s about holding something in your hand to sip until it’s late enough everyone ditches their drinks and hits the dance floor. I usually go for a Coke because it’s so universal, but anything carbonated puts me in party mode now. Or try a destination’s go-to refreshment, like mint tea in Morocco or lingonberry juice in Scandinavia, if they serve it till late.
8. Embrace a new kind of nightlife.
Sober me goes out to people watch. I learn more about local culture and because I’m 100% with it, I remember all the details in the AM: spicy dance moves, songs to add to my playlist, who’s crushing on whom, fashion trends that inspire me to style my clothes differently. These observations help me stay in the moment, leading to richer memories and connections; it’s a superpower to have a clear head in the club.
9. Become an early bird.
One of the most valuable things I’ve gained since quitting alcohol is time – no more rotting away hungover! For me, one big night out rendered me useless the next morning, which sucks when you’ve only got a few days to explore a place. Take advantage of extra precious hours to watch the sunrise, enjoy a leisurely breakfast or get a head start on sightseeing before crowds arrive.
10. Buy yourself a little treat.
You save a ton of money by not drinking – enough to upgrade to a nicer hotel or splurge on a fancy meal or piece of local art. Based on my past bar tabs, I’ve saved roughly $10,000 USD by not drinking the past two years. That’s more than enough to book a whole ‘nother trip!
11. Don’t let a slip become a spiral
If you do drink, don’t beat yourself up. I used to shame spiral every time I drank more than I intended to, and criticizing myself only made me feel worse – making me more likely to continue drinking, because what’s another sip after you’ve broken a promise to yourself?
I wish I’d been kinder to myself. Doing something new is hard enough without a voice inside your head screaming you’re bad at it. However your sober-curious trip goes, celebrate your effort to change. As I said in tip #2, you stepped outside your comfort zone, and that’s an adventure I’ll always cheers to – with or without alcohol.
Deepa Lakshmin stayed in Lisbon, Portugal at the invitation of Listen Bar. Lonely Planet staff members do not accept freebies in exchange for positive coverage.
